I'm as quite as a clock untill we share a talk. It's up till afterwards, my words begin to walk. Stocked up with good Intentions. The tik to my tok remains unmentioned. I wish for the minute hand to my hour so we can share every second.
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Batman has gone to great lengths to create the persona of “Bruce Wayne, upper class twit who could never be Batman.”
If Batman walked into the middle of Gotham Square and pulled off his mask and yelled “I, Bruce Wayne, am Batman!” The Headline would be “Bruce Wayne gets drunk at costume party, driven home by Commissioner James Gordon.”
And on that ride home:
Gordon: You are such a piece of shit you know that right? One of these days that’s not gonna work.
Bruce: *With the biggest shit eating grin ever* I know Jim, but it never stops being funny.
Gordon: So…. out of curiosity, how much money did Ollie lose to you this time?
Bruce: A gentleman never tells Jim, besides, its not about the money, its about the satisfaction of being right….. and the look on his face.
Gordon: Nice.
and you just know Alfred has a veritable host of “embarrassing early morning bruce” pics and video raring to go, like after a “skiing accident” to cover up a particularly nasty bat-injury in the line of duty
“I’m fine Alfred.”
“If you are, then prove it by putting on your socksies by your self.”
(source is Harley Quinn season 2, episode 5, but I can see this as part of Dave Willis’ “Happy Bruce” headcanon
I think the villain reactions would be priceless as well.
Two Face: Look I was friends with Bruce for years. He’s a nice guy, but doesn’t have the brains God gave a fiddler crab. He’s not Batman.
Riddler: I can confirm this. I took him and his board of directors hostage once. He tried to write me a check and got the check wrong. Four. Times. He had to ask his guy Lucius Fox to do it. It was just plain awkward for everyone involved.
Poison Ivy: Bruce is what we in the business call a Himbo, great to look at, a real sweetheart, but not much going on upstairs. I guarantee he’s not Batman.
Penguin: I’ve had Bruce Wayne as a guest at the Iceberg lounge before. Nice guy, excellent tipper, complete and utter moron. If he’s Batman I’ll eat my umbrella.
Joker: What? Oh yea of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. I mean obviously right?
Rest of the villains:……
Joker: Wait, you mean you guys didn’t know? I figured it out like the first day.
Penguin: You…. you’re joking right.
Joker: Penguin you will KNOW when I am joking. Seriously. No one else figured it out. No one. Just me. You guys are dumbasses.
Riddler: *Pinches bridge of nose* Okay…. so if Bruce Wayne is Batman, and you KNEW this the whole time, why not just KILL BRUCE WAYNE?
Joker: *As serious as a heart attack* because I’m not fighting Bruce Wayne, I’m fighting Batman. Obviously.
Riddler: Goddammit I hate you so much Joker. So fucking much. I can literally taste how much I hate you.
every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt
he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!
you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too
Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft - an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.
My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.
Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?
ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr
I apologize to all my followers for this
if i had to read this you do too
I have a hate-hate relationship with this
………
Good grief… I’m sorry, but I can’t not reblog this…
Tis the season bitches
DAMN IT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK YOU HEATHEN
Why is this on my dash?
…..I’m.. Bothered? by the fact that I’mnot bothered by this.
You’re not bothered?? I’m not only not bothered, I’m freaking invested. I’m having actual empathetic sadness for The Grinch. I want them to go into couple’s counseling. I want the “ten years later” when Tony visits Whoville on business and meets the reformed Grinch whose heart has grown 3 times its usual size. I want them to reminisce over a shared dinner of roast beast and wine, then spend a drunken night together, then realize that maybe things are different and people really do change. I want a 3-act story where there’s a long dark night of soul searching and the realization that maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance.
“maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance” is an incredibly profound quote and I did NOT expect to get it from a Grinch x Tony the Tiger post
Fake Punk: I don’t care about catching coronavirus
Real Punk: I should take precautions to help protect the oppressed groups who are vulnerable to this epidemic like low-income households, homeless people and people with disabilities.
This isn’t “punk” it’s just being a good person
Contrary to what many people would have you believe, being a good person despite societal pressure not to be is kinda what punk is about
